I have a confession.

It’s popcorn-related.

I’ve recently discovered that I adore popcorn.

I’d never felt this way about it before, but then I added some olive oil cooking spray, a few packets of stevia, and some of that white cheddar popcorn seasoning that claims it’s zero calories and I fell a little bit in love with it.

A little more than a little.

Image
(Is it weird that a good portion of the memes I’ve used lately contain the phrase “Eat all the…”?)

I mean, it’s crunchy and you can add salty deliciousness to it, and for a snack food it’s fairly low calorie, especially if you get the SmartPop popcorn like I do. At least, that’s how I’ve been rationalizing it. And it’s never a good sign when I have to rationalize the food I’m eating. It usually means it’s not that good for me and I should probably not eat it so much.

But they have all these flavors now

Image
WANT. ARRRARRRARRRGH. (<- this is me eating all the popcorn)

Anyway. I’ve been having a bag of popcorn every night for the past two weeks or so. Like, a two-serving bag. It’s only 240 calories, I’ll tell myself as I tear off the plastic wrap separating me from the promising kernels, and I’m sick of cottage cheese, so this will just replace that as my bedtime snack. It will be fine. But it feels wrong. It feels very wrong. I end up with a few too many carbs for the day (try 30 g too many) and I regret it in the morning. The vicious cycle repeats itself the next day when I literally start daydreaming about popcorn in the afternoon.

Something similar happened last year, you may remember, when I was obsessed with creating new frozen yogurt flavors. I do this kind of thing. I think the yogurt was a little healthier, though. Not that popcorn is bad. Popcorn is great! Apparently it prevents cancer. Then again, it also causes cancer. (Note: Never trust the interwebs.)

Anyway, the popcorn obsession stops now. It’s on the record. I will resume eating popcorn only once in a while, like a normal person, instead of a big bowl every night like a crazy person. Even though it is delicious. Even though I will miss its glorious, fluffy, crunchy, easily re-flavored qualities. Even though it calls to me from the kitchen cupboard.

Image

I’m sorry, popcorn. I love you, but we both know this was never going to last.